What should I do? I live in an apartment where there is a back area we can use I take my two dogs there but my neighbor is getting mad at me because my dog is making her bark and wants me to go somewhere else. My dogs always ignore her pitty.
(I’m assuming that both of you have the same right of access to the space.)
Personally, I don’t think that this situation has anything to do with dogs per se: it’s not a matter of training or etiquette. It’s all about bullying.
Unfortunately, over the many years that I’ve been a dog owner, I’ve seen how some other owners reflect a strong (all too often negative) aspect of their own personality through their dog-walking behaviour. I’ve seen bossiness (a woman telling other dog walkers what to do with their own animals in the most impertinent way), aggression (there was a guy where I walk who bellowed massively at an elderly lady because her dog got too close), snobbery (people acting ridiculously around the ‘prize-winning pedigree’ of their dog), and, all too often, I’ve seen bullying.
This woman feels that the space is hers, and she intends to bully you out of the use of it, and unfortunately, this means, as with all bullying, that you have to make a choice. You have to decide whether you simply endure the bullying (going elsewhere or trying to find alternative times), or whether to fight back.
The answer has everything to do with YOUR personality. If, like me, you are allergic to bullies of every type, it’s no choice at all. You may find that you can only look yourself in the eye when you have completely eradicated all unwanted behaviour from this lady (with some people, they are able to become socialized and genuinely friendly, with others, they will be sulky and resentful; others still will go away and never come back).
My tips for tackling this bully are thus: make sure you have right on your side, and are not doing anything wrong. Don’t drag anyone into it. Be polite at all times. Explain as if to an imbecile (you may be surprised at just how stupid they often are). Leave them space for a face-saving retreat. Never EVER retreat yourself. Use authorities/laws etc. Be relentless. Don’t show anger: always display confidence (even if you are acting).
Using a calm ‘broken record technique’ (repeating yourself ad nauseam), tell the lady that you are actually the injured party. Your dog is under control, and you are actually suffering from the noise nuisance of her dog. You are also being deprived of the quiet enjoyment of this space by her interference with you, which you would like her to stop. Assure her that you will not be put off entering the space, and (if there is an appropriate authority you can call upon), you will take it further.
It may turn out to be surprisingly quick and easy, but don’t expect it to be easy, and DON’T expect it to be quick. Don’t get paranoid/defensive: think of yourself as tough. Keep your sense of humour and be humane towards the bully. Look to the future and be positive.
You may well find that ultimately, this lady sees you as an authority figure and becomes perfectly friendly: you might even end up helping her with her unruly pet. I also feel almost certain that, all of a sudden, other people will appear out of nowhere and start using the space, having been previously bullied away before your time. Because a bully usually is causing a widespread nuisance, and removing the power of that bully changes a lot of things.